Been away for a little while and during that time I have been debating what to post first when I returned. This one I think is a hot topic.
I know so many guys who say they want a woman like Michelle Obama or Beyonce, crediting how these 2 very different women have held their men down or make their men look good. Yet, these same guys will fool around with that cheerleader type from high school that all the dudes had their turn with. Or, he will meet a potential “Michelle” yet will carry on simultaneous flings with other women. Grow up. Seriously.
If you are over 25 and/or you have children it’s time to grow up. Take yourself seriously. Take your life seriously. Take your body and health seriously. Take the hearts of those you get involved with seriously. Be an example to your son/daughter. Part of being a man is knowing how to treat a woman. What are you showing your son? And if you have a daughter, would you want her to get involved with a man like you or someone who has done the things you have done to women?
Stop with the casual/unhealthy/faux relationships. Stop complaining about women being gold-diggers and using that as an excuse for your doggish behavior. That excuse went out in the 90’s. For real. Every woman in my circle at the very least has a college education and a good paying, stable job. Some have at least one advanced degree and own their own home. Not one of them is looking for a man to pay their bills or buy their clothes. And none of them need one to. The thing is though, any man that they get involved with should WANT to pay her bills and buy her clothes. A man in love wants to give his woman the world or die trying. And this is almost an innate thing. Children even know this.
My son just turned 9 a few days ago and a few months back he told me about a girl in his class that he liked. One day when I was taking him to school, he asked me for an extra dollar so that he could buy this girl a snack. Inside I thought to myself “aww that is so sweet.” But I told him, “Don’t be using my money to buy snacks for other people.” He in turn said, “Mom, but isn’t that what I’m supposed to do? If she is my girlfriend I’m supposed to do things for her right?” see?
Yet, we have thirty something men who will only go half with their woman on a date or who will not even think twice about asking her for a loan to pay his car note. Now, I know times get hard and ladies their isn’t anything wrong with holding your man down and being there to pick up the slack for what he may lack. However, holding a man down does not mean financially supporting him. The only time your money should be his money is when his name is your last name. Know your role and act accordingly. He may call you wifey but until you are his wife, do not play the wife role. But that’s a post for another day.
Anyway…men if you want a woman like Michelle Obama then make sure you are a man like Barack Obama.
When President Barack Obama met his wife Michelle they worked together.
Tip #1- If you want a Michelle, have a job and be working.
When Barack Obama met Michelle, he asked her out. She said no. He asked her out again. She said no. He would ask her several more times and she refused him each time. Finally, he offered to quit his job so they could date and then, she said yes.
Tip #2- If you want a Michelle then be PERSISTENT and PURSUE her. Show her how much you want her.
When Barack Obama took Michelle out on their first date, he took her for a stroll down Michigan Avenue, toured a museum, had lunch, went to a movie, and then went for ice cream.
Tip #3- If you want a Michelle, then take her out and spend the day with her. Spend time that allows for conversation and real quality time spent getting to know her. It is not a date if you are asking to come over and watch a movie. And it is def not a date if you ask her to come to your house for anything!
At the conclusion of their date, Barack Obama asked Michelle if he could kiss her.
Tip #4- If you want a Michelle, ask for permission to kiss her or hold her hand. Why do you think it is automatically okay to place your hand on the small of my back when we just met? Slow your role. (again, that’s a later post)
After their date, Barack Obama told Michelle he wanted to see her. Regularly. Three years later, they were married.
Tip #5- If you are serious about her, say so. If you aren’t serious about her, say so. Be straightforward. Don’t waste a woman’s time. Don’t follow all the above tips just to get what you want or make her fall for you and then not be there to catch her.
Bottom line, if you want to be with a certain type of man/woman then make sure that YOU are that type of man/woman. Our President and First Lady are evenly matched. Both are confident, highly intelligent, graduated from Ivy league schools, have the same interests, sacrificed high paying corporate jobs to work in the public sector. They have the same heart, same beliefs. Barack is as charismatic as Michelle is graceful. They balance each other out and their love is evident. They are a phenomenal couple because they were first phenomenal individuals.
If you want that, BE that